Gravity

I seem to blog only when I'm depressed, and depression is certainly what has been affecting me these days.
There were those moments of bliss when I was just so happy to be able to explore something new and lovely but what do you feel when reality sets in?
The reality of she having another?

I'm wrecked with guilt. It's irrepressable. I can't stand it anymore.

They say you should be true to your feelings. But I can't. Just can't. I'll end up getting hurt a lot more. And She's gonna feel worse.

Listening to "Gravity" by John Mayer seems to fit the mood now. It's all blues with me now and it's that sort of song where anything could just happen and it doesn't seem to have a conclusion. It parallels my life now cos I'm sorta in an emotional dilemna where all the odds are against me.

Gravity.
Is working against me.
Gravity.
Wants to bring me down.
Oh twice as much.
Ain't twice as good.
I can't sustain.
Like a one half could.
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees.

I wish I could stop everything now and yell at the face of the world: WHY? why must this happen to me? I'm probably another sucker who just doesn't get things to work out. A sucker who's just turning out to be an annoying third party.

It's times like these that I wish I could just give up.
A permenant release from all the pain.
I wouldn't lose much anyway.